i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
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