It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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