Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
Randomize
