I feel great
I just peed on a car
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
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