On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
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I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
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