Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Randomize
