just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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