We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
