her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Randomize
