I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Randomize