We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Randomize
