How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
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