I just pynch a tree in the face
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Randomize
