Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Randomize
