somebody snuck up and got me drunk
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
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