I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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