hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
