if you like me you must not know who I am
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize