Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
