well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
Randomize
