Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
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