I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Randomize
