What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
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