I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
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