She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
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