I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
