She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
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