i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
Why is your signature on my underwear?
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
Randomize
