idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Randomize
