your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw.
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Randomize