She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
