He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
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