BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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