WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
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