I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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