would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
My balls are so social today.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
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