I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
