Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
You have to summon your inner elephant
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Randomize
