I cockslap morals
you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
whose parrot is this?
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
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