I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
Randomize
