you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
You brought string cheese to the strip club
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
Randomize
