The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
Randomize
