this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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