I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
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