idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Randomize
