I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
Why can't burritos get me drunk
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
Randomize
