I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
I just found puke in my bra..
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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