Whats the glycemic index on semen?
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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