her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
i think i have two assholes
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize
