Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
