she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
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