Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
