Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
