JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
I can't put those talents on a resume
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize