I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
