I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
