What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Randomize
