FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
Someone stole a lamp last night.
If I die, sorry about rent.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
Randomize
