my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
Randomize
