If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
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