Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
