Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Randomize
