I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
BRING THE BAGELS
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
Randomize
