My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
