i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
they need to just BURY HIM!
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Randomize
