There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
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