I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
