I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Randomize
