CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
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