I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
i think i have herpe
just one?
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
Randomize
