I CAN MOONWALK!
i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
Randomize