If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
Randomize
